unhappy

There are times when it would just be easier if my husband didn't come home. How aweful does that sound?? He just gets so stressed out over little things so I find myself back in the same spot I was when I was a kid. My father was hot tempered and abusive. When things got bad I kept everyone out of his path. Stressing out over anything anyone might do to set him off.
Now I will say it outloud that NO my husband is NOT abusive in any way not toward me or the children at all EVER. He just doesn't have it in him. But that doesn't mean when he starts spinning up I don't naturally go back to what I know, what I knew as a child.
It is SO stressful. It is hard for me to cope with. I am not sure how much of that past I shared with my husband. Over the years I have told him so much but have I shared it all? I cannot honestly remember. As much as I want to deny it, my past defines who I am and how I react today. In order to deal with me maybe understanding those thing would better help my husband?