sigh

OK there is a lot going on in my life. I suppose mostly in my head haha. If I weren't so young I would swear it was a mid life crisis. I am bored. Not that i do not have a ton to do but there is no excitement anymore. I love my husband but there are times I miss the passion. We have fallen into the rut of being Mom and Dad and working and keeping the house up, well you get the point. I wonder at times if he is truly in love with me or if it is just comfortable. I hope that makes sense. I guess I should KNOW he loves me. All he wants to do is be home with the family. He loves being home.
I don't know maybe it is the sea duty blues? Maybe it is the fact that I barely get used to having him home again before he leaves...This YEAR I have had him home what 3 weeks? My God that is about right.... THREE weeks. I guess I can look forward to the honeymoon period when he gets back home right?
Not to mention I am not happy with ME. I have gained about 40 pounds since my youngest was born. How in the world does that work? I gain 10 pounds and give birth to an almost 10 pound baby THEN gain 40 pounds AFTER the birth??? What in the hell?
I have a decent self image. I love myself, but I am not happy with the way things have gone lately.
I am not happy with the cleanliness of my home either. I slip into a darn funk and then do not do anything around the house. The house gets cluttered and then I feel worse and overwhelmed because of the state of the house. Round and round I go.
OK WHEW that was a decent vent!